Review of Bob Mcneil’s poetry collection, Verses of Realness.
Read MoreSloppy Virtual Book Tour Schedule
Check out my virtual book tour dates! Follow my debut novel and I as we’re highlighted, interviewed and reviewed by various bloggers from January 31st- February 11th.
If you have already read my debut novel, whenever you find the time, please leave a review wherever you purchased it. Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Apple, Smash words….etc. It would really help with rankings, algorithms and show it to more people so they can snag a copy too.
Thank you all for re-tweeting, re-sharing, taking a pic of yourself with the book, and simply being in my corner to push this book out. I really appreciate it.
Read MoreGift Shopping at Red Bank: Last Minute Holiday Must-Snags
Check out the local shops in Red Bank NJ. Featuring Witch Baby Soaps and The Artisan Collective. These last minute holiday snags are unique, tasty and unforgettable (You may have to buy more though). Great for the last minute Mandy’s who like snag gifts online in mid-December. Jasmine Farrell
Read MoreThe Little Mermaid at The Walnut Street Theater
A micro review of the little mermaid at the walnut street theater. The eels were everything!
Read MoreTop 3 Favorite Poetry Collections of 2021
Check out my top 3 favorite poetry collections of 2021. All indie authors with passionate pens and unforgettable lines. Support them and review their books!
Read MoreCurrent Wages: Who Eatin' Wit' That?
Yes, the job openings have increased, but the actual hirings are low. The wages are low #af OR, the wages are high with a dash of unhealthy work environment and a sprinkle of unsafe work conditions. Panoramic wages and chill, I guess. Just a lil’ rant from a freelancing lady who temps.
Read MoreDid the Church Cause My Exodus?
Those of us who de-converted from christianity have heard the saying, “You only left because of people. You shouldn’t leave just because of a few apples.”. However, is that always our story? Why is that the assumption?
Read MorePride for Me
In 2018, the shame lifted, and I was ready to celebrate and join my community. I slowly came out to my loved ones and planned on attending NYC’s Annual Pride. The initial group of friends I planned on attending with bailed. So, I went with a college friend who had a similar journey to mine. I had a blast. My heart was soaring.
Read MorePoetic Devices I Use Often
The poetic devices I use often!
Read MoreDear Predatory Persistence: Take NO as an Answer
I had a dream recently that was actually a memory. When I was 26, someone was talking to me about how they usually get what they want. They told me that they don’t take NO for an answer and mentioned ways they would get a YES. Looking back, I realized how I was punished for telling them NO. Or, they would shape shift and use various tactics to manipulatively get that YES from me. Later on that day, I watched a reel on IG that spoke about not taking NO for an answer from potential clients. It made me cringe. What’s the deal with people disrespecting NO? If a potential client says NO, if a loved says NO, some people see that as room to coerce/manipulate/dragoon.
It’s as if the business arena and loved one arena is exempt from consent. It isn’t. It never was.
Dear Mr and Ms Predatory Persistence:
Take NO as an answer and get over it.
There have been songs, movies and well-known business people who utilize this saying to encourage people to follow their dreams.
I understand the intention. When one door closes, find another one- or maybe the timing wasn’t right so, you wait. When one person tells you NO- don’t give up. There is a YES… FROM SOMEONE ELSE.
However, from my personal experience, people’s stories, and what I keep reading on forums:
NAH.
There are pushy salesman, partners, religious folk, friends and #LLCTwitter that spew this slogan.
A few years ago, someone said to me, “Your partner isn’t always gonna to listen to you when you say No. Get over it.” I distanced myself. I ain’t entertaining nobody who doesn’t comprehend a NO from a grown person. Been there. Done that.
When I was in college, my best friend and I were leaving the mall after watching a movie. We were standing by the exit, waiting for our cab to arrive. Another cab driver was standing by the exit looking for customers. He asked if we wanted a ride. We said NO because we already had a cab coming…
Long story short, he attempted to bully us into snagging a ride. My best friend had to literally shove me into the car (that we already called in prior) because the pushy cab guy was being ridiculous!
I’m sure we all know a few people who won’t take NO for an answer- only to be disappointed with the person who gave them a reluctant YES or worse, punish people who remained grounded in their NO.
People who refuse to respect a person’s No are hoping to transform that No into a Maybe. From there, a Maybe into a YES.
Yay… nothin’ goes better with someone’s coffee than dragooning him/her into some mess.
The thing is, the initial answer was NO. An answer isn’t taken. It’s given. Fuck mild coercion. Respect the NO and get a YES from someone who intuitively and authentically tells you YES.
Why are you seeking and digging for a reluctant YES when there is a solid YES elsewhere?
When Life Throws Potato Salad: Mindfulness in the Madness
Life will randomly throw potato salad on your bedroom wall. No matter how well you plan for the worst, you won’t be prepared for every mess life hurls at you. No one is in control of the world and the opportunities that present themselves (or lack thereof). You may not have the power to delegate what you can receive and deal with in life, but you are in control with how you respond to life’s spoiled mac and cheese circumstances.
Worrying about conflicts, circumstances or situations that upset the natural rhythm in your life is normal. Such as: a fucking pandemic!
Our homes, jobs, livelihood, loss of loved ones and even the mundane hum drum of life has us (understandably) wide eyed and frozen. Occasionally, it’s good to worry a bit because it can cause you to be concerned enough to address a matter. Giving into anxiety is a natural reaction to life’s spontaneity, but if your mind is lost in deep rumination, it’s time for a few positive adjustments. While anxiety is a normal reaction to stress (not ongoing anxiety, which can be generalized anxiety disorder or etc) if you continue to entertain worrying, it can cause delirious effects to your body.
When we excessively worry, our bodies initiate a “fight or flight” response. From there, the nervous system will release two stress hormones called cortisol and adrenaline. Cortisol and Adrenal can cause physical reactions such as headaches, muscle aches, nausea and a fast heartbeat. More severe reactions such as a heart attack, digestive disorders, and muscle tension can also occur over time. Excessive worrying is not worth the slight diminishing of your well-being. Everything changes. Including the arbitrary situations that can change your mind to be overwhelmed with what-if scenarios.
Here are a few tips to avoid excessive worrying or to cease dark ruminating:
Be in the Moment
With every activity/task, you partake in, invest all of your attention to it. Whatever situation you are concerned about, don’t force it out of your mind. Only focus on the allotted task at hand and the entertained thought will fade away. If you are walking, observe your pathway. Look at the leaves( or lack thereof) , listen to the open toes sling backs clicking against the concrete, or watch the snowflakes fall as you wait for the bus. If you’re in quarantine, be present while you’re cooking. What do you smell? When was the last time you intently pet your cat or played with your dog?
Pause
If you can stop what you’re doing and address the matter that causes you an ample amount of distress, then do so. Honestly, reflect whether there is a likely solution. Are there options that will annihilate the problem?
If not, then acknowledge that you have no control. Breathe in deeply and release the unsolicited responsibility of the matter you cannot change.
Never attempt to “stop” or “force” the thought to leave your mind. It will only linger longer in your mind. Allow the stressful believed to pass, but do not entertain it. You may not monitor what enters your mind. However, you can control what thoughts you can entertain.
You are in charge of what you allow to linger in your mind. You don’t have to allow situations to crowd your thoughts and cause physical symptoms. Breathe, release, and move forward!
Please keep in mind that we’re in the middle of a pandemic. It maybe hard, but please be easy on yourself.
Sweeping "Uncouth" Narratives
There is no specific outline or box to define the black voice in writing. All of our narratives are essential to reach wherever we are in life. It’s all one collective that’s absolutely beautiful if you step back and browse through all of our stories. There is an imprint within the black voice in the literature that continues to subtly mark stories as low art or high art and it does no one any good. If you are a writer, experiment with the various black authors before you, and then write your story your way. Unapologetically write your story, as it is recognizing this: Once you wake up black and you write your story—that is the black voice.
Read MoreThe Greatest Man I Know
The greatest man I know is intuitive, kind, patient, strong, funny and peaceful.
He isn’t the same man he was ten years ago and definitely isn’t the same man from twenty years ago. He was always a kind-hearted man, but there was a down-cast-busy vibe to him when I was younger. By the time I turned 13 years old, peace, joy and serenity ruminated within his smile. Nowadays, we use buzzwords about self-improvement, evolution, self-discovery etc. That’s him. Some belief systems he had when I was younger have now been modified or transformed for the better.
If this man wasn’t in my life, I don’t think I’d be the woman I am today. I am open to develop and grow for the better because I watched him grow. He cares deeply about his siblings, his daughter, nieces and nephews. He is the kind of parent who apologizes to his child. He took the time to explain things to me. With every fifty-eleventh question I had, he had an answer for- even if it was, “I don’t know.” We went on road trips every year during spring break. He picked me up from school every Friday and I anticipated spending every other weekend with him. If I was sick, he’d pick me up from school and take me to the doctor. If it was too cold, he’d pick me up from Mommy’s house and drive me to school (very rare, but still). He was 100% present. My father is the greatest man I know.
When I was a toddler, now and then my father would pick me up and walk me over to the mirror. He looked into the mirror and point asking, “Who is that pretty girl in the mirror, hm?” before I could answer he’d say, “My Princess, that’s who it is.” He’d unintentionally speak affirmations that I was creative and smart randomly. He still calls me Princess ‘til this day by the way.
My father is my walking diary, confidant and rock. Through the good times and the bad, he was always there. Every talent show, poetry show, graduation, fashion show, extravaganza and play, my father was there. I remember in 2016; I was a featured poet at a Gala and I invited my parents to join me. When I got up to perform my piece, my father had his camera phone ready to record- yes. But he looked so proud. He was beaming, ya’ll!
In 2015, I had a genuine conversation about my natural voice (which I still try to make a little higher unconsciously). I told my father about how I didn’t like it because peers and adults teased me about it or people would sexualize it. My father spoke to me for almost three hours on the phone about embracing my voice. He spoke about self-acceptance and how oftentimes; we are teased about the very thing that makes us stand out FOR THE BETTER. I am more confident and at ease with my natural voice because of my father.
When I opened to my father that I wanted to be a writer, voice-over artist and entrepreneur, he was so supportive. He was realistic with me and even gave me some books to read. He invested in me and my dream, which til’ this day, I’m in awe about. Other family members told me that I was wasting my time. That I needed to be realistic and leave the writing alone. While I talked myself out of pursuing my dreams, my father talked me back into them. There is literally no one else who is as supportive as my father.
The 30 years I’ve been on this earth, my father has been there for me, for every season. Including the horrendous seasons. When endometriosis was kicking my ass to the point I had to have surgery- he was there. When I was in an awful relationship, my father was frank and to the point to leave. When I finally did leave, he was there- with kindness and love in his words and actions. When people were all up in arms that I was engaged to a woman, my father was unbothered and more concerned about how I was being treated. I became estranged from certain family members, gossiped about, etc. I even had an uncle say to me:
It isn’t natural. It’s not okay. You hurt your mother. She sacrificed so much for you and to find this out, hurts her. If my daughter or son told me something like that, I would be devastated.
My father’s love and support keeps me. During 2020, I got laid off from a job that I adored. Yes, it set me back a bit. But with my father’s voice, support and ear- I know I’m going to be okay. With every setback, success, failure (He says, “Sometimes you have to burn to learn.”) and miracle, I know my father will be my rock.
I am thankful for my father. The greatest man I know.
Thankful Tuesday: Olivia
Happy Thanksgiving Week, Ya’ll.
I’m thankful for my support system and my octagon of loved ones. Every so often, I make a post on social media highlighting them and being hella extra and mushy about it. This week, I’ve decided to highlight two people. One for today and another person for Thursday.
For this Thanksgiving Tuesday, I’d like to highlight: Alivey
Her name is Olivia, but somehow I ended up calling her Alivey these last two or three years. My mama used to refer to her as, “Olivia? Oh, the pretty one. Yes. How her Mama and everything?”
Which I’m sure she never minded that, anyway.
We’ve been friends since college, but it wasn’t until 2013 that we got close. Olivia has been her true self from day one. Unapologetically. When I began to experience life (Remember I’m a late bloomer) in 2013, I saw Alivey in a new light. As I bloomed, she watched already knowing where I was coming from because she was once in my position: The journey of self-discovery.
Olivia’s This is who I am, take it or leave it vibe is what I aspire to have ALWAYS. I believe that if you can’t truly be who you are, then peace cannot be invited in your heart 100%. I jokingly say sometimes and say she’s to blame for me truly finding what makes me happy and being who I am. She rubbed off on me in the most significant way: Just fucking be.
She’s multi- faceted, creative, funny, chill, kind and supportive. Whew, she’s supportive. Lawyer, writer, doctor, stripper, hoe, singer, whatever: She’s supportive. She just wants to see her people happy. When I had my first ever poetry reading, she came through with congratulatory gifts and hugs. She has consistently been there for me, even when I slowing began leaving the 9-5 to work for myself. Whether she purchased my books, left reviews or re-shared my videos: She’s consistently been in my corner rooting for me.
At the same time, she will NOT sugar coat and holds me accountable for my mess. She wants to see me happy, but not partake in things that reveal self-hate and damage. Whether I like to hear it or not: She gon’ check me if need be. We all need friends who will uplift and encourage us, but us hold us accountable. In 2017, I was at a bus stop losing my damn mind and Alivey reminded me of my actions and the reality of some important decisions I needed to make. I’m pretty sure I would have handled the situation another way if I didn’t reach out to her.
2017 was one of those shitty years for me. For real. I was almost evicted. Rough, ya’ll. This woman slid grocery money my way for me to eat and it wasn’t no $100 either. She did it without hesitation. When she had a housewarming that August it was fun, ridiculous and entertaining. More importantly, I needed it. To be surrounded by good people and to be in an environment where I felt loved, safe, at ease and fed. Yes, I said fed. Alivey can throw down, ya’ll! I left the next day feeling uplifted. I can only hope that I have reciprocated and uplifted her and encouraged her during the moments she needed/needs it.
With the heart the size of 45 Buick’s and an all white Escalade, I’m thankful for Alivey’s friendship, kindness and understanding. As the years continue, I will strive to pour into her as much as she has poured into me. She is definitely one of the gems in my life that I will keep close to me until our season is up or somebody joins their ancestors.
Burn Brightly and Soar High!
Fellow Phoenix, here’s a few tips.
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I am celebrating the birthdays of 3 my poetry collections in September! "Long Live Phoenixes," "Orange September," and "My Quintessence." No matter how old or new, I hope my vulnerable works inspire readers and showcase my evolving poetry journey over the past 6, 1, and 10 years.